| another new beginning. |
[20 Jun 2005|05:01pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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moby "natural blues" |
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I'm pretty pissed off at another journal of mine becoming a depressed entry journal. I actually hate this name, now. I don't know, I will still update this one, but it'd be best if everybody added ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) thenaturalblues because there's entries in there already, and that's going to be the journal I primarily use during college. Yes.
And on that note, I hope I do stuff tonight, because I'm so bored it's not even funny.
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SPF 10 |everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "time is never time at all. you can never, ever leave without leaving a piece of youth." |
[15 Jun 2005|12:02am] |
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mood |
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 so very tired. |
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music |
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The Best Of Dana Carvey on E! |
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Jackson should have been guilty. Even the freakin' jurors said, "Yes I believe he molested children, just not these particular children." Isn't there anything a judge can do to make the general public know he's FUCKING INSANE? Or be able to have him sent away somewhere so he can scrape off his face and add about 60 lbs of normal man weight back on? He's gotta be on some kind of drug now, or something. How can they allow children to continue to live with him?
David Letterman said he had good news and bad news about the Jackson verdict: "The good news is he's not guilty. The bad news is he's going to Disney Land."
What I don't understand is how in the hell could any juror not just see that he's completely lost it and neesd to be put somewhere? Jackson weighs something like 98lbs. The weight of a 7 year old boy or an anorexic teenager. He wears pajamas to COURT! And carries an umbrella in the sun because without it his face would probably MELT OFF. Amazing to think almost everyone I've talked to disagrees with Jackson being totally cleared. Why couldn't his lawyers have had him plead insanity, or something. Absolutely freakin' nuts.
( rant about my being sad and shit like that. )
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SPF 10 |everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "damn my situation, and the games i have to play, for all the things caught in my mind." |
[06 Jun 2005|12:51am] |
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mood |
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fuck it. |
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music |
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nothing, because it's 1am. |
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I come to realize anytime I like someone, they do not like me. They harbor no interest, though I tend to get my hopes up that they do.
I need to realize that when I think someone likes me, they do not, and I am fooling myself.
I've realized I pose no threat to friends' girlfriends because they see an fat chick their boyfriend is friends with, not competition.
I hold no priority over anyone, at all.
I hit a rabbit with my car a few days ago. It was one of the worst things I have ever done. I screamed and screamed and cried. Apparently it has not been cleaned up, and now its guts are strewn all over the road. I feel terrible.
I've developed jaw problems. My jaw has been locking, and clicking, constantly for a while, and I finally went to an orthodontist appointment where I told him about it. Apparently I have TMJ, which is caused by stress, which means I clench my jaw at night. Great. Add one more thing bad to happen to me to my quite large list. I don't even sleep with my fucking mouth closed all the time. I don't get it.
I should give up.
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SPF 40 |everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "gimme the beat, boys, and free my soul. i wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away." |
[29 May 2005|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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stressed |
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music |
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new radicals "you only get what you give" |
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May 27 - prom
May 28 - cousin's wedding.
May 29 - driving 3.5 hours home from cousin's wedding.
May 30 - memorial day parades.
May 31 - senior class trip.
June 1 - graduation.
June 3 - leave for Delaware Valley College orientation.
June 4 - Delaware Valley College orientation/Nate's graduation party/Ann's graduation party.
June 5 - drive 5 hours home from college orientation/Anna's graduation party.
Somewhere in there Ollie's wants to throw in some hours, when I really want to decline them. I called off 2 days this week, so now they have grounds to consider me for letting go, probably. Wouldn't that be sad? I'm too stressed to worry about it, and I have to go in tomorrow sometime between 2 parades and 1 ceremony and a proper shower to tell my boss I can't work June 3&4, which he has kindly scheduled me for. Lovely.
I cannot deal with any of my problems in a rational manner right now. Over the last 3 days I've had probably 12 hours of sleep, and been on the road a total of 8. I would love to lie down for a few hours, but that's not happening much in the next few days.
That's all. I'm done ranting.
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SPF 40 |everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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[13 May 2005|11:46pm] |
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mood |
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dead tired |
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music |
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nothing, i'm dead tired and need to sleep. |
] |
I liked today. Today made me feel good about myself.
Good night.
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|everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "i don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now..." |
[01 May 2005|12:39am] |
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mood |
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extremely tired |
] |
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music |
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oasis "wonderwall" |
] |
It's amazing how it feels to realize there are people you will never see again. People you actually, like, too.
I imagine I will elaborate more on the above subject some other time. Right now I am extremely tired. I don't know why...I slept 12 hours last night. Maybe I'm just emotionally tired, or something.
I'm not happy.
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SPF 20 |everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "i think i'd be good for you, and you'd be good for me" -weezer |
[18 Apr 2005|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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foo fighters "monkey wrench" |
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Friday.
After an hour long 4th period consisting of a Frankenstein quiz, a fire drill, and card playing, I burst out of the school to my burning hot car. Andrew, Ashley, Natalie, Matt, and I all went to the Duncansville Pizza Hut, apparently with about one-third of the rest of the school. We made it in, stuffed ourselves on the buffet, and then I went to drop Andrew back at his car in the school parking lot.
On our way back into the parking lot, we passed all the people playing frisbee in the band practice feild. I realized I felt like being outside, so I took Ashley home (because she had to go home) and went and played Ultimate Frisbee for prolly an hour or so. That was SO much fun. I always go abd play once, then am skeptical for weeks thinking nobody's going to want me there. I imagine I'll be showing up at Frisbee Club and all the other random times throughout this year.
So after that, I went back and got Ashley and we went to Target. Orginally there was supposed to be a fire at Andrew's that night, but thanks to the new burn ban on Blair County, we had to make other plans. We rented The Big Lebowski and watched that. I was so tired, I fell asleep in the last 10 minutes, but it's OK, I've seen it before. So I'm walking out to me car to take Keith home, and I happen to glance at my gas tank. The hood thinger was open, and the cap was gone. I had lost it before when I had gotten pissed at the fuel pump for not taking my credit card and driven away. I was initially VERY pissed off, mainly because I absolutely HATE doing stupid things almost as much as I absolutely HATE losing things. It was OK though, since my car was newer, it didn't exactly need a gas cap to function properly.
That was my Friday.
Saturday.
Woke up early (8am) and made breakfast, and then headed out to the Senior High. I met up with Britta, Josh, and Annie, and we got to work re-painting the Tiger Paw Path that heads up from Longer Elementary to the High School. Man, was that ever a blast.
We did it half for Civics points and half for fun. We repainted all but 2 places, mostly because those places either a) needed a template or b) needed more paint. It was so much fun. We were all so pumped at how much better it looked. At 3 o'clock, I had to leave to head out to start getting ready for work, but I think Josh and Britta were there until probably 4:30 or 5. We have to go back out next Saturday to finish.
So, with a splitting headache from squinting in the sun for 7 hours, plus a fever from burned cheeks, also from the sun, I went into Ollie's only to find out I was an hour late. My shift was supposed to be 4 to close, not 5 to close. I had come in at 5 because that was usually when I come in. I was really flustered, and really tired. One guy who works there was going around being all, "Yea, Cacie's hung over.", which I most certainly was not.
So, throughout the course of working, Jamie S., and Matt K., and I all presuaded Marty to let us see our yearly reports. He couldn't actually let us see them, since they weren't done, but he did manage to tell us that all of us had gotten 25 cent raises! I'm pretty pumped about that one. I will now, as of April 24, be making $6.75 at Ollie's Bargain Outlet. Now if only I could have the hours to go along with that.
After Ollie's, I had nothing to do, so I came home and discovered that Dawn Of The Dead was on. Now, this is a movie I've been wanting to see since the summer, and everyone else saw without me. I had been living on Nate's vivid description for a while, but I decided to watch. I actually liked it. Everyone had told me it sucked and I wasn't missing anything, but you know, I liked it.
So that was my Saturday.
Sunday.
After working from 12-5:30, I got off work to find Ashley waiting. We went to Walmart, and then I went home. I changed out of my Ollie's clothes and got in my car. I didn't really know where I was going, but I drove to Longer and got out and walked up to the senior high and turned around. I stopped at the swings on the playground and sat there. My walk took about 45 minutes, and it was damn great. I tend to usually hate being alone, but man, last night felt amazing walking all by myself.
Once I was done just thinking of nothing, I drove around and drove through downtown. There in a huge huddle were a bunch of kids trying to get a petition signed. Apparently, they're trying for a skatepark. I signed it. We do need one here. I've also seen them in school. I hope they can persuade whoever they're trying to persuade to build one.
After that, I went to Ashley's, ate apple crisp, watched Desperate Housewives, and then hurried home so I wouldn't miss any of Grey's Anatomy.
Today.
School was, as usual, boring and pointless. After school, however...
I went to Mrs. Puskar's room to get help on a packet. Once I was done, I headed out to my car. As I got closer, I noticed something taped to the driver side window. I took a look and realized it was my car key, taped to the INSIDE window of my car. Andrew had gotten back at me for tying his and Anna's cars to a tree last week (though 3 other people did that with me...) Once I got my door opened, I got to see what he had done. He had tied my wheel, shifter, visors, headrests, and inside doorhandles all together with craft wire. A whole role of craft wire. Once everyone had seen that I'd gotten in my car, the left me. I'm so happy I actually had my illegal box-cutter today, because I wouldn't have gotten out any other way. Half an hour later, I was done cutting, sawing, and untangling my car. I then drove to AutoZone and got a gas cap. It's bright red, as if to scream, "Better not lose this one, dumbass."
After that, other not noteworthy stuff happened. I did, as it seems right now, get a prom date tonight, though. Yay.
That's it. Wonder if anyone read this far?
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|everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "the way that you feel now is cool as long as i know the way it's gonna be" |
[03 Apr 2005|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 not sad, for once. |
] |
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music |
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greenday "holiday" on VH1 Megahits. |
] |
Well, I've been sick for the last few days with what we just told the doctor was a sinus infection. I have no idea if that's what it is, but what the hell, it got me antibiotics on a Saturday. I stayed home from school on Friday, the day after the Washington, D.C. trip, and I'm sure everyone thought I was just randomly skipping out of being really tired. (I really was tired, but I was also pretty much a zombie for a good chunk of the trip.)
Speaking of Washington, D.C., about 97% of the senior class went on the civics trip on Thursday. It was good fun. A little chilly, but overall an alright day. The rain held off. The biggest setback was having to walk EVERYWHERE. I think my feet almost disconnected from my body out of anger at having to work for such long distances. I know the ankle plate was pissed at me. Yes...my legs have brains...and talk...don't yours?
Anyway...
Washington, D.C. March 31, 1005.
( click or die. )
After walking around for 6 hours, we went into the Pentagon Town Mall, or whatever, which is 4 stories. That was pretty sweet right there. I was very surprised, however, because there was only 1 music store. I was hoping for some CDage, but to no avail. Instead, we played in the Discovery Channel Store and smelled stuff in the Body Shop before finally collapsing onto a bench infront of Auntie Anne's for a while. Nobody really wanted to move very much. I think at one point I just kinda sat down infront of a directory and couldn't move. All in good fun, though. Oh yea, and we had the awesome bus movie selection. We watched I, Robot in the way down, and Dodgeball and Napoleon Dynamite on the way home. It was pretty awesome.
So gas is $2.17, now. I'm pretty mad about that. I scrambled to get gas on Thursday night when we came home and noticed it was $2.13, and the shitty gas station that was still $2.07 is where I went. Right now, I'm not sure what's going on, but I think my car hates shitty gas station gas. It's making louder noises than usual while revving up, and it just doesn't accelerate like I want it to. I don't know, maybe since I know it's a shitty gas station, I'm just imaging the lack of performance from my car. Whatev.
On Wednesday night, I bought Lemonade from some kids in Sylven. They only wanted 35 cents. I gave them a dollar and told them to keep it.
I gave $1.10 to a hobo in DC. I dropped it in his cup and I got a "Aw thank you, Suga" in response. I love giving money to homeless people. I gave money to homeless people in Berlin and London, too. I supposed that makes me a bad person, cause they're going to buy drugs with it, but I give them the benefit of the doubt anyway.
Oh yea, and score for me on this, too: Giant Eagle's little video place was closing down, and they were selling all their movies for really cheap. DVDs were only $5.99, and everything was VERY picked over, but I managed to come out of there with House of Sand And Fog for my mom and Adams Family Values and The Last Samurai for myself. All in all a good buy. I did want to get Eurotrip, too, but left it behind along with The Producers, Jerry Seinfeld: Comedian, Pauly Shore Is Dead, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on VHS. Such a tough call. I may go back this week and see if it's fate that I'm meant to get them...and to see if anyone returned a DVD copy of Napoleon Dynamite.
Now, one more thing. I know I swore I was done with switching over to new journals. However, I made a new name the other night, thenaturalblues, which I absolutely love. I love that name. I made a deadjournal name somewhere along the same lines. I really love it. I'm thinking, maybe, that that will be the journal I use to start college with. Maybe. I can't decide. You can add it if you want, but I think for now I should probably stick to this one.
What do you think? Would you kill me if I switched usernames ONE more time? Or should I just stick with this?
This certianly is the longest not depressing entry I've written in a while.
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SPF 40 |everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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| "it's like when you try to scream, but it only comes out as a yawn" |
[27 Mar 2005|11:24pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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family guy. |
] |
I was bored. This was interesting.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Stability | || | 10% | | Orderliness | |||||||||| | 33% | | Empathy | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Interdependence | |||||||||| | 36% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Mystical | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Artistic | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Religious | |||| | 16% | | Hedonism | |||||| | 30% | | Materialism | |||| | 16% | | Narcissism | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Work ethic | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Conflict seeking | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||||| | 50% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Avoidant | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Wealth | || | 10% | | Dependency | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Change averse | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Individuality | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Sexuality | |||||| | 30% | | Peter pan complex | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Physical security | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Food indulgent | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Histrionic | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Vanity | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||| | 50% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.comThese results were depressing.
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|everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
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not worth being alive.
strange